i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
