What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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