im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
