I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
