Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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