I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
