Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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