if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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