I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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