Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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