OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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