sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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