Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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