i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
