I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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