forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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