Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
