I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think I died a long time ago.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
