You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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