and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
