My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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