another moral hangover. fuck.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
