dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
