I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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