Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
