Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Bring me that man meat
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
