the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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