Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize