ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize