My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
