I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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