god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
