I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
