Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
