I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What drink are we having for lunch?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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