Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize