Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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