Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize