It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the condom got lost in my hair
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
