if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
