He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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