it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
