It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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