Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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