He is an equal opportunity slut.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
