she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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