have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
