Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
