youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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