Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
