I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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