im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize