Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
