I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
