My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
