At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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